Thursday, August 23, 2012

Throwback Thursday

Today's trip down memory lane is about The Time I Ran a Half-Marathon While Carrying a Vodka Bottle. You're probably thinking to yourself "Hmm. What sort of fun riddle is involved with that title?!"
This story could not possibly be named anything else.

When I first started running, it was completely solo. My husband has always been athletic, but dislikes running. (ALOT) . We had a few friends and family members that ran, sporadically, at that time. I shudder to think of the clothes and shoes I wore in my early running days. (I'll save those stellar choice stories for another Thursday.)
Why do my shins hurt SO bad?!

For the most part, this was due to a complete lack of knowledge or research, on my part. When I did finally start stalking other runners looking into gear options, the overwhelmingly Cheap-O part of me was horrified. No thank you very much. I will never be spending all of those dollars on my hobby. My husband picked out and bought me my very first, actual running shirt and shorts. Probably he was tired of the "sad for you" looks our neighbors gave us as I ran, cheerily, by. (and he's very generous to me) Questioning my Cheap-Ness? I still posses AND wear those shorts he bought me SEVEN years ago.

Anyway, one day, I learned folks were actually drinking fluids while they ran. You'd think, after running in Florida for long enough, this concept would've occurred to me sooner. I just chalked up my dry cracked lips, dizzy spells and dry heaves to "the joys of running".

After googling "hand-held water bottles" I disgustedly turned off the PC and weighed my hydrating options.

I tried carrying a plastic Zephyrhills water bottle on my next run. I threw it, in utter disgust about 42 seconds in. Carrying a water bottle was definitely not for me.

Next, I tried another option that's too embarrassing to admit. I tried typing it and was unable to finish.

Then, while shopping at the Liquor store, I had my moment of brilliance. There, attached to a giant bottle of vodka, was a teensy, fits-in-the-palm-of-your-hand, matching bottle of vodka! I snatched those beauties off the shelf, hopefully? paid for them, and drove home.

I could. not. WAIT to try out my new water flask! To keep this blog family-friendly, we'll say I dumped the vodka from the tiny bottle down the drain. I'm also mostly sure I rinsed it out, too. Either way, I re-filled it with a shot of water and scurried out the door for a test run.

Fast-forward to my 1st and 2nd half-marathons. While laying out my race gear, the night before, the tiny vodka bottle was lain carefully atop my bibs. Sad, right? Worse, still, is that there are professional photos of me, running a half-marathon, carrying a vodka bottle. Wanna see? (or maybe you just want to feel better about your race photos) Feel free to visit . Enter bib # 1103 for the Women's Half Marathon St Petersburg 2011.

Sidenote : I know everyone complains about their race photos. Mine are truly, truly frightening. View at your own risk. Also, notice my beet-red face. I was freaking dehydrated!

Soon after this race, my husband bought me a very comfy, very wonderful hand-held water bottle.

Notice a trend?
Moral : don't get photographed while racing with your vodka bottle.
Additional Moral: don't be cheap.
Still thinking my cheapiness might fall under the "somewhat normal" category? Here's a pic I took. Tonight. Yes, it's the original.



  1. That's hilarious! I'm thinking you must have a lot more not so family friendly stories you could share if that's your hydration vehicle;-) I'm wishing I knew what you typed & deleted though...

    1. mwuhaha! The world (other than my sister : see below) must never know about that ridiculous idea I had. ;)

      Thanks for visiting and commenting!

  2. I know! I know! I remember your second failed attempt at hydration. I apologize if this is going to spoil a future post, but just so other readers can maybe appreciate just how cheap you are, I must share your first choice for energy supplements: gumdrops in a valu-pak. I think they cost <$1, and your plan was to eat a few of them before and during your long runs for that extra boost of energy.
    Also, I'm so surprised that you've never shared those pictures with me before...

    1. Ugh. I still gag, a little, when I think about those sticky, sweaty gumdrops in my pocket. So much cheaper than GUs, though!!
      I think I was in denial about the photos' existence for many months. They're *that* bad, no?

  3. Holy crap, I love this! I think we are meant to be friends because all my hydration gear is from the thrift store. I swear it looked new(ish). I recently shocked myself by paying fil price for two items at Lululemon. And now I hang my head in bargain-hunter shame as I write this.

    But you totally win the prize for thriftiest runner I've ever heard of -- ever, ever.

  4. Your Lululemon confession hurt my (cheap) heart, a little. Then I realized, anyone who buys possibly used water bottles, deserves a splurge now and then.
    And thanks for the Cheapest Runner honor. I'll wear that badge with pride. ;)